Insane
by Yazzy
Summary: After an argument with Tyson and Rei, a shocking secret is revealed about Kai's past. It affects him so badly that he ends up...well, insane. Eventual yaoi KaiRei, rated for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Friends, Romans, Countymen, and men and women from everywhere else (and women from my country. Geez, that quote sucks!) I bring to you MAD KAI! This is a very angsty fic, I'm warning you now. There's a lot of bad things that have happened and will happen to Kai. Lots of them. But...on with the madness! Muwahahahahaha!

* * *

"Kai? What are you doing out here?" Kai turned to find Tyson standing beside him. He blinked and then looked away. "Kai? Hello-o? Earth to Kai?"

"What?"

"What are you doing out here? It's freezing!" As if to emphasise his point Tyson shivered, tugging his jacket closer around him. Kai sighed inwardly. Moron.

"In case you've forgotten, Tyson, I was brought up in Russia." He smirked slightly. "It snows in Russia, you know." Tyson laughed nervously.

"Oh yeah! Right. Um...so are you coming back inside? Rei's making cookies!"

"Lovely. Enjoy your highly fattening sugar-high-inducing snacks. How much did you have to beg before he agreed to bake for you?" Tyson cried out in protest.

"He offered! Well...Max kind of asked a little bit-"

"Precisely. Go on, go and enjoy your...'cookies'."

Tyson looked slightly glum and walked away, leaving Kai leaning against the wall. Tyson was so...strange. He was just...so strange. He stood up and walked into the house, up to his bedroom, and flumped down on the bed, closing his eyes and sighing. Seemingly seconds passed and then someone knocked at his door. "Mm?" The door creaked and someone padded in.

"You asleep, Kai?"

"No, Tyson. Strangely enough, some people close their eyes when they want to think. Not of course that I'd expect you to understand that."

"Oh. Um. I...I just wanted to know if you wanted to come watch a movie with me and Max and Rei..."

"No."

"But...you don't even know what it is!"

"Okay, I'll guess. Is it a cartoon?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Is it about some kind of ninja?"

"Yeah..."

"Does the title contain the word 'whacky' or 'groovy'?"

"Yeah."

"There you go then."

He was suddenly moved by the weight of someone sitting on the end of his bed, opened his eyes. Tyson was looking at him sadly, and as Kai watched, a tear trickled down his cheek. The younger boy sniffed and wiped it away, while Kai looked on, awkwardly. "What's the matter with you?" Tyson sniffed again.

"You know what, Kai? I don't get you. I just don't. Whenever anyone tries to be nice to you, you just get sarcastic and act like a jerk! What's so wrong with being nice to you?" Kai blinked, and Tyson, shifted closer, getting angry. "Tell me! Or is the mighty Kai just too good to accept kindness from anyone else?"

"If I said yes would you cry more?" Sneered Kai. "Why should I want to eat cookies? I don't like cookies! Why should I want to watch a movie with you and the others? I don't like stupid cartoons! I don't like giggling blondes! I don't like stupid, cheerful morons like you! Leave me the hell alone or I'm going to end up killing you! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Kai yelled, face flushed red with rage. Tyson burst into tears and stood up before running out of the room.

Kai watched him run down the stairs, then lay back down, closing his eyes once again. "Kai?" More disturbances. "Kai, what did you say to Tyson? He's just run past me crying, and I heard you shouting at him."

"Oh go away, Rei."

"No, I won't! What do you think you are, some kind of god?"

"Get out of my room."

"I'm not in your room you bad-tempered goat." Kai opened his mouth and found Rei leaning against the door frame. "He's only trying to be friendly, Kai. All of us are. You might think you're five times better than the rest of us, but it wouldn't kill you to join in every once in a while."

Kai closed his eyes again. "I don't engage in frivolous activities. They waste energy and degenerate the mind."

"Oh, and what textbook did you get that out of? If we're going for statistics, Kai, did you know that laughing is actually good for your health? I've never seen you laugh. By rights you should be an ill wreck. But you're not. Huh, maybe you're a robot, that might explain why you treat the rest of us like dirt."

"Go away."

"Make me."

"Stop wasting my time."

"-Make- me." Rei said threateningly. Kai sat up, opening his eyes again, and found that Rei had moved inside his room, standing on his tiptoes, feet digging into the pile of the carpet. He reached into his drawer, and pulled out his handgun. "Get out of my room, leave me alone, and stop wasting my time." Rei looked at him witheringly.

"So go on then. Shoot me."

"Go away."

"I'm not going to." Kai sighed. Verbal threats had not worked. Physical threats had not worked. Therefore, the only thing left was to remove Rei. He put the gun down and stood up, moving over to Rei and grasping his arm. Rei yanked it away and moved, sitting down on Kai's bed and bouncing. "I'm not like Tyson. I'm not scared of you, Kai. Someone has to break it to you. You're an idiot. You might be in some posh school, you might be a good beyblader, but you have NO people skills. You repel people. You even repel them consciously. He's only trying to be nice, Kai. Being nice isn't a crime."

"Get. Out."

"No." Kai gave a yell of rage and raised his fist, but Rei caught hold of his hand before the blow connected. "I'm not going to let you hurt me, Kai. And I'm not going to hurt you. That's what you expect, isn't it? Some kind of pain? It's not coming, Kai, from either side. What now?"

Kai made a choking noise in the back of his throat, and a bead of sweat appeared on his forehead. This was wrong...Rei was messing with his head. But it was right this way! It had to be like this! To receive no pain, there had to be no connections! "No!" He growled. "With connection there is weakness. Corruption. It's better to be alone than to be weak."

"You're an idiot, you know that? He's stronger than you, Kai. He's stronger than you, and he isn't a soulless chunk of flesh!"

Kai flinched, turning away his face as if he'd been struck. "He can't be stronger..."

"He is!"

"It's not...right!" Kai wrenched his hand away and turned his back. "Why should he be the one? I'm sorry, Grandfather..."

"What? Kai, I'm not your grandfather..."

Kai turned. "I'm sorry. I've failed you." Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that it was Rei sitting on the bed, but he could only see his Grandfather, with his stern gaze and demanding presence. "I'm sorry. I know I'm not worthy..." Kai bowed his head. "What...is my punishment?"

"Punishment?"

"Grandfather..."

Kai's vision blurred before him and he jerked backwards, feeling a blow to his face. He fell to his knees at the next, and then further, until his nose was buried in the carpet...but...his Grandfather's house was all floored with wood...but...

* * *

Rei looked down at Kai and stared. Nothing had happened, and yet Kai had fallen as if he were being beaten, dropped to the floor, eyes shut tight, shaking. He knelt down beside the Russian and shook him gently. Kai whimpered. "I'm sorry...I won't fail you again..."

"Kai...Kai, I'm not your grandfather...I'm Rei, Kai. Rei from the Bladebreakers."

"I promise...I'll do anything..."

Rei folded an arm around Kai and hugged him gently. Kai shuddered violently and immediately clenched up. "Anything but that! Please! Grandfather, I know I'm not worthy, but please! D-Don't hurt me again..."

Rei let go of Kai as if he were aflame, then ran to the door. "Guys! A little help here!" Tyson ran back up the stairs, stepping into Kai's room warily. As soon as he saw Kai lying on the floor he dropped next to him, reaching out a hand and laying it on Kai's shoulder. Kai whimpered again, like a thrashed dog, and curled up tighter, a comma of fear and terror. "N-No!"

"Kai?"

"P-Please! D-Don't hurt me!" Tyson looked up at Rei, puzzled. Rei shook his head.

"He seems to think he's with his grandfather, and that...he... He started moving, falling like he'd been hit by someone...and then he asked his grandfather not to hurt him again..."

Tyson gave a gasp of shock and flung his arms around Kai, hugging him tightly. Kai let out a strangled scream and reached out, hands shoving him away weakly. "I promise I won't let him be stronger than me! I promise, Grandfather! Please just leave me alone!" Tyson let go, confused, and Kai started to cry.

"Kai, your grandpa isn't here!" Tyson cried, worried.

Kai shivered again and raised his head slightly, blinking, obviously confused. "Kai, you're not with your grandpa, you're here with us. With me and Rei." Kai looked at him blankly for a few seconds then fainted clean away, head dropping back to the floor. Rei crouched beside Tyson, and reached out, rolling Kai onto his back. "There's something really wrong going on here..." He said quietly. "Get his arms." Tyson obliged, and between the two of them they got Kai onto his bed. The Russian laid there, deathly still and pale, breathing so softly it was almost unnoticeable.

"He said his grandpa hurt him?" Asked Tyson, disbelievingly.

"No, not exactly. Well. Yeah...he said 'don't hurt me again'." Rei sighed. "God, I feel so guilty, now. I was being an idiot, but it was only because he's horrible to you...to all of us. He...he -expects- people to hurt him, Tyson. And he doesn't want friends because he thinks they'll make him weaker..."

Kai stirred suddenly, groaning, and Tyson and Rei backed away instinctively. Kai rolled onto his side, away from them, and sighed softly. Rei and Tyson looked at each other, unsure of what to do. "Should we...call Mr. D?" Asked Tyson tentatively. Rei shook his head.

"He'd kill us if we got Mr. D involved. This is obviously something he doesn't want people kn-"

"What are you doing in my room?" A cold voice, harsh as the icy country it hailed from broke into Rei's speech. Kai sat up slowly, eyes glinting dangerously. "Get out."

"Kai, look-" Began Tyson.

"I said 'get out'. Not 'stand around and be a moron'. Although I'm sure you can't help it, seeing as it's your natural state..."

"Kai!" Rei admonished. "Kai, we know about what your grandfather did to you, and-"

"You know NOTHING!" Kai growled, standing up. "Now get out of my room!"

"Kai-"

"Get out. Get out before I -make- you get out."

Tyson looked up at him, eyes filling with tears. "We only want to help, Kai...he's evil...why didn't you tell us before that he beat you u- AGH!" Before Tyson had a chance to finish speaking, Kai had grabbed a shoe off the floor and hurled it at him. "Hey, don't!" He rubbed the reddening patch on his cheek that the heavy boot had hit, feeling like something out of a bad movie.

"Get out of my room or I'm going to kill you. I have no more patience!" He picked up his gun again and fired it into the wall a few inches away from Tyson. Tyson gaped at him. "Leave me alone. I don't want to be friends with you. I don't want you to like me. If we weren't on the same team I wouldn't have anything to do with you! I hate you! I hate you as well, Rei, I hate all of you! Never let it be said that I shamed the Hiwatari name!"

"What, by having friends?" He abused you, Kai! What have we ever done to you? It should be your grandfather you hate, not us!" Kai turned and Rei looked deep into his eyes. Terror washed over him. Kai was past caring now, he needed to be incapacitated or he'd hurt someone. But the gun was already aiming at him, right in the centre of his chest...

He threw himself to the floor as a shot exploded near him. This was just so wrong...wrong, wrong, wrong. But what could he do? Kai had gone psycho, he had a gun, and, if he was really looking for truths, he'd provoked Kai too much to hope he'd survive. But then Tyson started to scream. As he'd seen Rei drop, he obviously thought Kai had actually shot him, and he was panicking. Kai turned to him for a brief second to tell him to shut up, and Rei leapt, with strength he didn't know he had, forcing Kai to the floor and squashing his wrist until he let go of the gun. "Tyson! Shut up!"

Tyson thankfully stopped screaming, and Rei sat on top of Kai, knee dug into one of the pressure points on his back, fingers jabbed into the side of the Russian's neck. "I'm sorry, Kai, but I'm not going to let you shoot me."

"Veeblyadok! Poshol nahuj!" Kai growled into the carpet.

"I don't know what you're saying so you might as well save your breath."

"Fuck you, you son of a whore! Get off me! I'll KILL you!"

"You're not going to do anything, Kai. Tyson, go and phone Mr. D, tell him it's urgent." Tyson walked out, and Rei sighed. "Jesus, Kai, what is -wrong- with you?" Kai twitched and muttered something. "What?"

"I HATE YOU!"

"Why?" Asked Rei exasperatedly.

"Because you all make me feel WRONG!"

"What?" Kai shifted, uncomfortable with the pressure Rei was exerting on his neck and back.

"You don't understand -anything-!" Spat Kai. He gave a frustrated growl and lapsed back to muttering what Rei could only imagine were Russian obscenities. With a sigh, Rei shook his head. He hoped Mr. Dickenson would come soon...

* * *

Note, the literal translation of what Kai says is: Fuck you, son of a whore! I got it off a website, so sorry if it's wrong, because I don't speak Russian.

Well, what did you think? And seriously, seriously, if you got this far down the page, please leave a review. It makes me kind of annoyed when I go to the stats page and see that only about one out of every five people who visit the page leaves a review. Even if you didn't like it, tell me (in a non-flamey way)!

Please R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Hello all! Jeebz, I've been busy this last couple of days...first I got dog watch (looking after my step-uncle's MAD and SMELLY dog), and then yesterday I spent the day roaring around Northeast England on the back of a motorbike. As a result, I'm in a rather good mood! Thank you for reviewing, those of you that did. Here are the replies:

Little-Purple-Phoenix: Yeah, this is going to be one of the longer ones, so there's definitely more to come!

ducky76: I always try to!

CreativeChilde: Mental Kai...ah. I've never tried making someone insane before, it's quite interesting to write!

animeobsession: Nah, Rei isn't going to end up dead. And I have nothing at all against fangirly reviews...I just don't usually write them because I have a big mouth. A friend of mine once called me 'mouth on a stick'...seems appropriate really...

Askari Knight: I protest! I may kill them off, but I've never made them insane... Although yes, this fic is going to be riddled with angst, just like most of my longer stories are. My oneshots are usually nice, but if it has more than one chapter it's generally ansty. Thanks for not dismissing it straight off though.

lil-inu: You head sweller! Not that I'm complaining, it makes me feel better seeing as I have an annoying cold right now...

miriam906: glad you liked it!

LaSandwich: Nice name! And I'm sorry to say, I've already killed Rei. Multiple times. Although not in this fic. Ah well. Sorry and all, but I have a thing for killing off the characters, not always but quite often. Makes for good angst, you know?

Just that good: Nice use of the word eventually...it's going to take quite a few chapters for Kai to see sense, I'm afraid!

Ice Spirit: It's even creepier in this chapter...he zones, man, he zones!

Mewmew2: Yup, I have.

Lainyisme: I'm glad you like it!

beda: Here's the update. I'm very impatient so my updates never take very long!

ArcticalWolf: Poor little Tyson...he just got basically kicked out of the story until a few chapters hence. Now it's ALL about the KaiRei goodness. Oh yeah...

And now...THE CHAPTER!

* * *

"A mental asylum? They're keeping him in a -mental asylum-?" Rei looked at Mr. Dickenson with stark disbelief. The old man nodded, looking depressed.

"They said he has chronic anger-management problems, self-esteem issues, suicidal tendencies and a complex about his past. It seems the great Kai Hiwatari has fallen, I'm afraid. He keeps talking in Russian, and most of it's highly offensive. He hasn't taken well to the centre at all... He refuses to talk to anyone, so they can't analyse his problems, so they can't help him. He really has dug himself into a trap this time."

"Is he allowed visitors?"

"Not strictly, no. I suppose...I could make a few enquiries, if you really want to see him..."

* * *

And that was how Rei ended up sitting in a small, cosy room, with Kai sitting across from him, staring blankly. "Um. Hello, Kai."

"Dobre den."

"Hm?"

"Dobre. Den." Kai spat out the words, looking at Rei as if he were crazy. Feeling awkward, Rei looked down at the list of things Kai might say to him. Oh, there it was...dobre den...good afternoon. "Oh, right. Sorry. I...don't speak a lot of Russian. Tala gave me a list of things you might say, so...um. Well I'm a bit stuck, really. You can understand me okay, can't you?"

Kai nodded curtly, and tugged his blanket further around himself. He was sitting on the bed, back against the wall and knees bent before him, duvet obscuring most of his body from sight. His hair was a little messier than usual, and he obviously hadn't been allowed to put on his customary face paint, but he didn't look too bad...did he?

"So...um...are you okay?" Kai glared suddenly.

"Yebanat."

Rei consulted his list again, found nothing, so flipped to the next page, where Tala had written down every insult he could think of in Russian. Rei's eyes flicked over the various profanities until he found the one he was looking for. He frowned and looked up. "My mother's dead, Kai. That's a horrible thing to say."

Kai blinked a couple of times, then stared at the ceiling above Rei's head. "Kai?" No reaction. "Kai?" Nothing. "Kai!" Nada. "KAI!" Kai looked at him, startled, and shrank further back, looking scared.

"Prostite!" He whimpered. Rei thought for a moment that Kai had called him a prostitute, but when he looked...

"Kai, what are you sorry for? It's okay, don't be scared, I won't hurt you..."

Kai blinked at him again, then pulled the blanket up over his head. "Kai?" There was the sound of a sob and someone sniffing, so Rei went over to him and sat down beside him.

"Niet, dyadouska!"

"What's jadoushka?" Rei scanned his trusty list, and there, sitting right at the top: "Kai, no, your grandfather isn't here, it's okay, he can't hurt you, they've put him in prison, Kai." He said soothingly, pulling down the blankets and smiling softly. Kai shook with fear and pushed him away. Rei shook his head slowly. "No, Kai, I'm not going to hurt you. No-one's going to hurt you." Kai looked at him suspiciously, then twitched, glaring. Rei watched him nervously. "Kai?"

"Pizdobol!" Kai screeched, launching himself forwards, smashing his fist into Rei's cheek. Rei cried out from surprise more than pain, and fell backwards off the bed. Kai followed him down, yelling, punching him and scratching him without abandon. He gripped Kai's fists as they swung at him in turn, then got caught up in a haze of confusion as some men ran in and dragged Kai away. Kai started screaming, tearing at the people who were holding him in terror.

"No!" Rei managed to get out. "Don't hurt him! Let him go! He's scared!" He struggled upright and ran over to Kai, taking hold of his flailing hands. "Kai, calm down!" Kai burst into frustrated tears and stopped struggling. Rei let go of his hands and wrapped his arms around Kai's waist. Kai clutched at him, sobbing, and whispering something that sounded like 'Yabayus', over and over.

Devoid of his list, he turned to the three security guards as they gently let Kai down into his arms. "What's he saying?"

"He says he's scared." Kai drew in a choked breath and leaned against Rei as if he were the only thing keeping him upright.

"Etapazna..." Kai whispered.

"Hm?"

"He's saying that it isn't safe." Put in one of the guards. Rei sighed softly. Kai was so messed up inside...

Rei led the Russian slowly towards his bed and sat down with him, letting Kai cry into his shoulder, whispering over and over, "Yabayus, yabayus, yabayus."

"Kai, I know you're scared but I'm here. I'm here and I won't go away until you want me to, okay?"

"Stoyreadam..." Rei looked up and found that there was only one guard there, the one who'd translated Kai's desperate words before.

"He's asking you to stay with him."

"I will, Kai, I will..." Kai continued to cry, keeping up his constant mantra of 'I'm scared' and 'stay with me'. Rei pulled the distraught Russian onto his lap and held him tighter, whispering things in Kai's ear that he could only say in Chinese, babying, motherish sounds and half-words, designed to soothe when words cannot be relied upon. After a while, Kai's sobs lessened until he was just sitting in Rei's embrace, shivering and red-eyed. "There, shh, now lay down, and have a nap. Everyone feels better after they have a nap." But Kai refused, and clung to him again, making whimpering protests and noises of fear.

Rei hesitated, then lay down himself, pulling Kai with him. Kai snuggled up, burying his face in the crook of his neck, and soon fell asleep, fingers clenched in the fabric of Rei's tabard. The guard, who was young and seemed fit, gently prized Kai's fingers away and helped Rei up. "You know, no-one else has been able to provoke that kind of reaction in him. I think you might be getting somewhere. It might seem impossible, but we've had people like him before. If someone supports them, they can get better." He ran a hand through his short blonde hair. "I'm Jack, by the way."

"Rei. Um...thanks for translating for me."

"It's alright. My mother was Russian, she taught me. Seems Kai there's quite a bit like me, apart from the abusive grandfather..."

Rei sighed. "He just seems to think everything's going to hurt him..."

* * *

"Kai?" Rei walked into the room, looking around for Kai. The Russian was sitting on a beanbag on the floor, staring into nothingness. Rei sat down next to him and stared at the same spot, halfway between the bed and the barred window. "Can you see something I can't or are you just ignoring me?" Kai blinked once, then looked at Rei.

"Dobre den, Rei."

"I can't pronounce Russian very well, but Doberden to you too."

"Dob-ray."

"Hm?"

"Dob-ray den." Kai made a speaking motion and pointed at Rei. Rei looked at him strangely, then it clicked that Kai wanted him to repeat it. "Dob-ray." Repeated the Russian.

"Dob-ray."

"Den."

"Den."

Kai nodded, then looked up at the ceiling. It was strange; he seemed to calm down when Rei came, or when he knew Rei was coming. Otherwise, and with other people, he was uncontrollable. He seemed to know he was safe with Rei, even going so far as to be protective of Rei when other people came in. Rei put a hand on Kai's leg to attract his attention again, and smiled. "I brought you a present!"

Kai looked at him enquiringly. Rei had been every day of the six that had passed since the first, but he'd never brought anything with him before... "I asked the director and he said I could give it to you..." Rei opened his bag and pulled out a teddy bear, a soft, fluffy one with blue fur. Kai looked at it doubtfully, but when Rei pressed it into his arms he smiled. "Spaseeba."

"That means thank you, right?"

Kai nodded and made the bear nod as well. Rei laughed good-naturedly. It was nice seeing Kai acting like a child for once. "What's it called?" He asked, interested in hearing what Kai would name it.

"Lapushka."

"Hm?"

Kai measured a small distance in the air between his finger and thumb. "Um...tiny?"

"Niet."

"Small?"

"Niet."

"Little?"

"Da, da!" Kai took hold of the bear and pointed to it's tubby paw.

"Little paw?"

"Da. Lapushka."

"You could have just said it in English..." Kai shrugged. "Why won't you talk in English any more, Kai? Is it because..." Rei took a deep breath. "Is it because of your grandfather?" Kai's eyes widened and he stood up, backing away. "Kai, don't go. I just want to help, Kai. I don't want to upset you, or hurt you, but it can't be nice being in here all day. Maybe you could try talking to me. I promise, I won't laugh, and I won't make fun of you! Please just talk to me Kai...I want you to be okay..." Rei stood up and walked over to Kai, winding his arms around Kai's waist and leaning gently against his chest.

"I brought something else with me Kai, and I didn't tell the director, or anyone...I...I don't even know if it's a good idea, but..." Rei let go and picked up his bag again, reaching inside and taking out a bit of paper, Kai watched him warily, than as Rei showed him what was printed on the paper, he blanched, backing away further. A picture of his grandfather was staring out at him, pitiless eyes seeking his own, ready to take him and break him again, ready to-

With a ripping noise, Voltaire's face split into two halves, then into quarters, then into tinier and tinier pieces, until Rei let them scatter to the floor and stamped on them. "He's nothing." Kai swallowed, looking down at the pieces as if they still had the power to hurt him.

* * *

Next Chapter: Lapushka saves the day and Kai gets a splinter. Definitely more serious than it sounds...

The things Kai says are pretty much all translated in the text, except 'pizdobol' (you bastard liar) but if you get confused just stick it in a review or something. I'll say it now, and it's not coming up again- I don't speak Russian. All the Russian in this fic is either taken directly from a website or written phonetically from a sound clip so sorry if it's a bit off.

Okay, well, R&R please! It makes my day when people review, even when they flame 'cause then I can get a good laugh out of it!

And if anyone didn't get replied to at the top of this chapter, it's because the site won't let me see some of the newer reviews. I'll reply to the ones I missed for this chapter in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

Hello all. I'm really sorry but at the minute I'm having a bit of a family crisis so posting's going to get slower and I haven't really got time to reply to all the reviews I got...I do appreciate it though. Here's the next chapter:

* * *

"Hello Kai, hello Lapushka!" Rei called cheerfully as he entered the room. Kai was lying on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, so Rei sat down between his spread legs, prodding his knee. Kai jumped and looked up, then smiled. "Dobre den." Rei stuck out his tongue and leaned against the wall. Kai looked at him, puzzled, but Rei just giggled, crawling further up between his legs and snuggling into his chest. "I won! I won my match but I have a cold and I'm all hyper off the medicine!" He giggled. Kai nodded and made Lapushka climb up Rei's arm and headbutt him gently, sitting up and leaning against Rei slightly. 

Rei laughed and kissed the little bear's nose. "How are you?" Kai pulled a face, sitting up. "They're not still...you know...drugging you, are they?" Kai shook his head, gathering Rei's loose hair into his arms and fluffing it up. Lapushka appeared through the curtain of his hair and nuzzled into his neck. Rei laughed, throwing his arms around Kai's neck spontaneously. Kai, surprised, fell back, with Rei leaning on top of him. "Speak to me, Kai."

"Niet."

"Well then I'll speak to you. Tyson won as well, but Max lost. And I was talking to Tala, and he asked how you were, and he told me to tell you that he's going to ask Mr. D if he can come and see you." He smiled. "You know what I miss, Kai? I miss hearing you telling us all to shut up and get on with training. It just isn't the same when I have to say it, and I usually end up giving up and just letting them off early..." He leaned a little closer, so that the tips of their noses touched. "I miss you talking to me about important things, Kai. Tyson has no opinions, Max doesn't either, and Kenny talks in binary..."

"Ya tebya lyublyu, Rei..." Kai whispered, reaching up a hand to touch Rei's cheek. "Stoyreadam..."

"Well...I don't understand the first bit, but of course I'll stay with you. They'll kick me out in a couple of hours, but I'll stay as long as I can." Kai blinked, and traced his fingers across Rei's lips.

"Ya tebya lyublyu."

"I don't understand...could you...sign it or something?"

Kai hesitated for a second, then tightened his hold on Rei, pulling him closer so that their lips touched in a brief, chaste kiss. "Kraseevah..." Kai kissed him again, closing his eyes as Rei's widened in shock. "Ya tebya lyublyu." Kai pointed to himself, to his chest, and then to Rei. Rei gaped at him.

"Okay...I might be understanding it all wrong but...are you telling me...you love me?" Kai nodded, looking slightly fearful. "Kai, I..." Rei hesitated. "I...don't take this the wrong way, but...I...I don't think I'm gay..." He could see the life drain from Kai's eyes, and bit his lip. "Kai, I'm sorry...I-I'm betrothed to Mariah, you know that, I have been since I was young, I can't-" Kai closed his eyes, so Rei shook him gently. "Kai..."

"Vali otsyuda!" Kai hissed. Rei stood up, suddenly nervous. Kai was shaking, fists clenched. The last time he'd done that he'd gone psycho...

"Kai, I...I'm sorry..."

"Pizdobol!" Kai sat up, and Rei could see that his eyes were narrow, angry slits, darting around suspiciously.

"Kai, please-"

Kai bared his teeth and lunged, and Rei screamed, flung to the floor with a mad, angry Russian on top of him. If it was in a cartoon he supposed it would have been funny, but there and then it was terrifying. "Kai, no! Stop it! Please!" Kai scratched across his face, leaving four bloody lines welling up on Rei's cheek. He was snarling like some kind of animal, and it was horrifying to see. "Kai, please! You're hurting me! Stop it!" Kai's hands closed around his neck and he choked, coughing. "Kai, no!" The hands tightened, and Rei despaired. There was no way he could stop Kai now...unless...

"Your grandfather will find out and he'll come for you..." Rei rasped. Kai let go of him immediately and backed away, leaving Rei to sit up, massaging his abused neck. "Kai..." The Russian burst into tears, stumbled into the corner, and turned his back, leaning against the wall. His fingers clawed at the paintwork and he sobbed, sinking to the floor and curling up into a frightened ball. Rei crawled over to him and touched his shoulder.

"Kai? I'm sorry, Kai, but you were hurting me..."

"Prostite, dyadouska..." Kai whispered. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I'm so weak..." Rei was too frantic to notice that Kai had started speaking in English again. He folded his arms around Kai from behind, purring reassuringly into his ear. "Kai, he isn't here, there's no-one here but you and me, and I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay. Are you listening to me, Kai? He's gone. He's not around any more. He can't do anything to you. You're safe."

"I'm sorry...I know I'm not allowed to like other people...I'll try harder, I promise!" Kai said desperately, staring at the wall. "But they make me feel as if I should be like them...I'm so weak...I'm sorry, Grandfather, I'm sorry to shame our name with my weakness..." Rei sat back, listening as Kai poured his heart out to the beige paintwork. "I beg your forgiveness, I won't let them try to change me again! I'll kill them all for you if that's what you want me to do, Grandfather! If that would make you proud, then I would do it!" Kai got onto his knees, bowing his head before the invisible horror of his Grandfather.

"I'll do anything...because I know you're right and you only do the best for me...but I'm so weak I always mess it up...I'm sorry Grandfather...I'm so s-sorry!" Rei reached out instinctively and touched Kai's arm. Kai jerked away from him. "I'm sorry Grandfather...please...I promise I'll never let them affect me again...but please...please don't..." He turned his face away from his invisible relative. "Please..."

"Kai, he's not there...your Grandfather isn't here..." Kai swung his head round, eyes wide and staring, chest heaving.

"Get away from me...get away from me..." Rei leaned closer but Kai backed away, scrabbling across the floor backwards until he hit the wall. "Leave me alone...d-don't hurt me again..."

"Kai, I'm not your Grandfather, and I'm not going to hurt you."

"P-Please!"

"Oh Kai...Kai, how can you not know it's me? Look at me Kai, -look- at me!" Kai tried to press himself further into the wall, shaking uncontrollably. "Kai, look at my hair! Look at my clothes, my skin, my eyes, my teeth! I'm not your grandfather! I'm not trying to hurt you!"

"Prostite! I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!" Kai begged. Rei felt tears spring into his eyes. Kai was beyond anything. He couldn't even recognize a friend. He was truly...insane. And that hurt. Rei knew there was probably some way to help him, but he wasn't a doctor, he didn't know what drugs to give Kai to make him see straight and calm down, he wasn't a psychologist, he didn't know what to say to make Kai believe that no-one would hurt him...

"Well you don't want me near you, so I'm going to stay here, and I'm going to talk to you. I mean...well, they say talking helps, don't they? So...um. I don't know what to say, really. My English still isn't all that good. So...I'm going to talk to you in Chinese, because there are things that I can only say in my own language, things that I can't translate." Rei swapped effortlessly into his mother language. "In my village, love doesn't feature as highly as honour and bond. I was promised to Mariah years ago, I don't have the option of just denying our marriage. Even if I hate her, even if I never want to marry her I'm not allowed to do anything otherwise. She's bound to me. I don't think I'm gay but I've never thought hard about it before...I don't know any more, but that's just because you're making all this so complicated...you do this to me all the time, Kai, you make me question myself, and what I believe! They keep telling me you're mentally imbalanced but you're still doing a good job of manipulating me!"

Kai blinked once, hard, and shook his head, blinking a few times. "I can't...I can't..." He whispered. "Grandfather..."

"Kai, please!" Rei realised he was still talking in Chinese and swapped, repeating his words. "Kai, he's not here and everything he told you was a lie!"

"Are you Rei?" Kai asked, whispering. "Are you Rei or am I imagining you? Sometimes I don't know who's real...he's real...he talks to me when I sleep...but are you real? I don't know any more...I d-don't...I c-can't t-t-tell the d-difference! I'm so scared...I'm scared...I'm scared...even if you're a ghost don't leave me..."

"I won't leave you, Kai. I won't leave."

"He said I'm not allowed...he said I couldn't...I can't...you have to stay away from me because I have to hate you!" Kai burst out. Rei stood up and walked over to Kai, kneeling down beside him and cupping his cheek.

"I don't want you to hate me, Kai."

"No! Get off me!" Kai pushed away Rei's hand, panicking again. His breath was coming in harsh gasps and he was shaking even worse than before. "L-L-Leave me alone!" Rei leaned closer, tears in his eyes, and Kai screamed, hysterical with fear.

"Kai, look at me." Kai turned his face away, whimpering and sobbing. "Kai, look at me!" Kai shook his head, shifting away until he ended up pressed into the corner of the room, curled up into a ball, still incoherent with causeless fear.

Rei stood up and looked down at him, at a loss for what to do. He looked around the room, hoping for some kind of inspiration. The bland walls loomed back at him, and the laminate flooring sparkled, taunting. There was nothing else but the bed and the beanbag, and... "Lapushka!" Rei went over to the bed and picked the little bear up, an idea forming in his mind. He went and knelt down next to Kai, and made Lapushka nuzzle into the Russian's hair. Kai looked up, saw the bear, and looked down again. Rei made Lapushka nudge Kai, prodding him in the hope of gaining a reaction. Kai looked up again, and kept his head up, sniffling and red-eyed. Somehow he couldn't see Rei, could only see the soft toy sitting on his bent knees.

"I'm scared..." He whispered. "I'm scared..." Lapushka nodded, then wiped Kai's tears away with a fluffy paw. Kai sniffed and reached up, taking hold of the bear and hugging it to his chest. "I'm scared..."

"I know, it's okay, I'm here..." Whispered Rei, putting his arms around Kai and praying. Kai gave a sob and nuzzled into his chest.

"Don't leave me...I'm scared...don't let him hurt me...don't hurt me..."

"Shhh, it's okay, I'm not going to leave you, and I won't let anyone hurt you..."

Kai eventually cried himself to sleep in Rei's arms.

* * *

Kai looked up at the pretty young woman opposite him and blinked. "Come on, Kai, draw a picture of your Grandfather for me." He looked down at his shaking hand, where a pink pencil resided, waiting for him to use it. He stared at it for a while longer, then put it down, staring at the wall to his left. "Kai, pick up the pencil and try again, please." 

Kai reined his attention back in and picked up the pencil. "Now, draw him as you see him, as you saw him when he hurt you. If you can visualise him like that, it will help you sort out your opinion of him in your head." Kai tried. He really tried. He got as far as one smudged line when the pencil broke under the pressure of his tight grip. He felt a splinter stick into his hand and started to cry, snivelling babyishly. "Where's Rei? I want to see Rei!" He wailed.

"Kai, darling, Rei isn't coming until this afternoon, you know he always comes then, he has training in the mornings. Now I'll give you another pencil, and you have to really try hard to draw him, or even just write down in words how he made you feel, what you thought of him. You made a really big step yesterday, talking in English again, and that was wonderful, but I really need you to try and tell us about what he did to you-"

Kai just stared at her as she handed him another pencil, a yellow one this time. "Splinter."

"Hm?"

"I've got a splinter."

"Oh dear...come here, I'll have a look." Kai held out his hand and watched as his psychologist attempted to get the spelk out. She succeeded in the end, but only after making Kai wince and whimper. After that, he refused point blank to look at her, talk to her, or even acknowledge that there was someone else in the room. He walked over to his bed and laid himself down on it, leaving his psychologist on the floor with a smudged line on a piece of paper and a broken pencil. She gave up, deciding that she would come back after Rei had visited. Kai was always in a more responsive mood then.

* * *

Next chapter: Tala visits and we meet Ian's wife (she's not really that important but hey). 

R&R please, and ciao.

The only important bit of russian in this chapter is 'ya tebya lyublyu'- means 'I love you'.


	4. Chapter 4

Well, here's the next chapter. Thankyou to everyone who offered to help with translating the Russian, but it's all done already. That was one of the first things I checked up on. Usually before I start to post a story it will be finished, but I am, at heart, a perfectionist, so if it isn't exactly to the standards I want it to be I will spend a lot of time tweaking it and changing little bits and, if necessary, checking translations. Like I put on my bio, there's a lot of stuff happening for me at the moment, to do with my family, or more importantly my step-family. At the moment, being there for my family is what matters most to me so updates might be a little slower. I have more time than I did last time I posted, so I'll reply to all your wonderful reviews, but only for chapter three because otherwise I'd end up typing my fingers off!

Just that good: I know. I got sick of making Kai the strong one, and decided to make him weak by doing all this to him.

Ellen: I hate splinters as well. I originally said 'spelk' because that's what I've always called them, but during the tweaking I realised that it's slang and people might not understand...

skimmie: Here it is!

VGMaster04: Thank you, I agree, and here it is.

Echo in the Dark: I also am not particularly fond of Mariah. She gets in the way of all the good Rei yaoi. I've tried pairing her with Bryan, and that isn't too bad, but otherwise no, I don't like her.

BloodyShadows: It's much easier to make Kai kawaii when he's insane, because I can make him act like a little kid and be dependant on Rei.

SoulSister: Well the Russian swearing was all off a site called 'swearasaurus', which you can find by putting 'how to swear in foreign languages'. I'll warn you now that it has some very offensive content. I found it while I was trying to find German swearwords to annoy my teacher with in german (sir, what does ... mean? My brother said it to me and he said to ask my German teacher...). Yes I know it's childish and stupid but hey, I'm not too fond of my German teacher! The rest of it is phonetic. I can't remember the actual site, but it had sound clips, so I just wrote down what it sounded like. Little bits of it are from...can't remember the name, but if you put in 'basic russian' in google it comes up with a site where some of it uses the romanic alphabet.

miriam906: I'm glad you like it so far, and I'll try to update as soon as I can!

keisan: I am sneaky... The reason I had Kai say that he loved Rei was because, being insane, he wouldn't be able to understand the consequences of loving another man. Usually in my fics I end up having someone persuade Kai that it's okay to be gay, whereas here he doesn't understand that it often isn't socially acceptable to be gay. Which is why he doesn't understand why Rei rejects him.

animeobsession: For the Russian sites, see the reply to SoulSister (I don't think I could type all that waffle out again!). And yeah, Ian has a wife. It will all become clear when you read the chapter, I hope.

shuchan: Aww, don't say you hate me or I'll just kill them all off! Not that I don't anyway, but hey... I can tell you haven't read my other fics, or at least noticed the pattern. When I write a long fic, it'll be full of angst and then have a happy ending. This one is no exception!

WolfDemonQueen: I must say, I have a soft spot for poor insane little Kai. I might write another one like this because it's so interesting to write!

Thin-K: Well you don't have to wait any more, because the next chapter's just down the page!

ArcticalWolf: Yup. It is pretty horrible, and this chapter is going to be just as horrible as the last...

PandaPjays: Pink Menace! Ahaha! That one really made me laugh, it's so appropriate for that yaoi-spoiling dunce!

Ice Spirit: Like I said before, I so often write Kai as the strong one, and it was a refreshing change to make him the one who needed help.

Endoh Chiaki: I'd dance with you, but right now I have a cramp in my leg... And yes, Ian has a wife, but you''ll find out why soon!

Mei Kimari: Heh, sorry. Last time I posted there was a lot of bad stuff going on with my life, I barely had the time to post the chapter, let alone check the author notes. Prostite means 'sorry'. This time there'll be a full guide of the Russian used at the bottom of the page.

darkangelintheshadows: I'm officially a dudette, but dude does me just fine! I'm glad you think it's going well so far, and as for if he's going to be normal again...well, you know I always leave it at a happy ending.

Kiko cat: Aha, but I've made him weak! Weak I say! And this time Kai can be the emotional one, not Rei! Hey, I'm all for variety, what can I say?

smellyToaster : I'm glad you like it!

Curtis Zidane Ziraa: How could you doubt me? I'm a dedicated yaoi writer, and any het I ever do will be highly experimental or at the request of a friend (and probably for another fandom, but they're all as yaoi obsessed as me so no worries!). Het would only ever be a fad, and while I enjoy writing alternate pairings from time to time, KaiRei is eternal, along with KaiTala, TalaBryan, ReiTala, and ReiBryan... Heh, well maybe I don't have an OTP (one true pairing). I love them all, but only because of all that squishy yaoi love!

And now, the chapter. Be warned, Kai suffers (more).

* * *

"Kai?" Rei walked into the room, smiling. "Hey. I brought a friend to see you!" Kai blinked as Tala came into the room, smiling nervously.

"Hey Kai. Um...I can only stay a little while, I have to get back to babysit Ian's kid. Um...oh. Do you remember him and Saskia getting married? Well she got pregnant and they had a baby girl, but it's their anniversary today, so I said I'd...look after Irina for the night..." Kai stared at him, then looked at the wall. Tala looked at Rei for help, and Rei shook his head.

"Kai, how was your session this morning? Was it with Angelina again?"

"I got a splinter. She wanted me to draw him and I couldn't..." Kai looked down at his hands as Rei sat down beside him. "I-I couldn't..." Tala sat down on his other side, concerned.

"Are you okay?" Kai shook his head and turned, burrowing his face into Tala's shoulder and bursting into tears. Tala held him tightly, looking slightly lost. This wasn't Kai. The real Kai would never have cried about splinters and drawings... He looked up at Rei, and Rei smiled sadly, shrugging. He couldn't explain out loud, not while Kai was there. Kai was just so broken...he'd changed so much that even the smallest things made him cry, or just stare blankly into space. It wasn't out of ignorance, he just couldn't react, it was beyond his capacity. Rei laid a hand on Kai's shaking back.

"Don't cry, Kai, it's okay."

"I'm still scared...he'll come for me..."

"No, Kai, he's not coming back." Kai snivelled and clutched at Tala's jacket. The older Russian sighed, stroking Kai's hair tenderly. Rei had warned him that Kai was a bit...different, but he hadn't been prepared for this. He glanced down at his watch, and looked up at Rei, mouthing 'I have to go'.

Rei bit his lip, thought for a second, then crawled around to sit behind the other two. "Kai, let me have a look at your hand..." Kai sat up sniffing, and held out his hand. Rei jerked his head for Tala to go, and looked at Kai's hand with careful concern before leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to it. "There, all better." By the time Kai looked around, Tala was gone. Rei sensed his puzzlement. "Tala had to go, remember? He has to look after Ian's baby tonight." Kai blinked.

"Where's Ian?"

"He's going out with his wife for their anniversary. Don't you remember their wedding?"

Kai thought hard. "No." He said eventually. "When was it?"

"About...well, it'll be a year now, because Saskia was about three months pregnant when they got married, and Irina's six months old now..."

Kai frowned, still trying to remember. "I can't remember...why can't I remember?" He asked, panicking slightly.

"Hey, calm down, don't get upset..."

"But I can't remember! What does she look like? Who's Saskia?" Kai brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, ignoring Rei's every attempt to talk to him. When an attendant came to tell him to leave twenty minutes later, he sighed, kissed the top of Kai's head and left, hoping Kai would be a bit better the next time he came.

* * *

Tala sat on Ian's sofa, brooding, as Ian and Saskia ran around getting dressed. As he sat there, Saskia swept into the room, her blonde curls swooshing behind her, and handed Tala a blanketed bundle. Tala sighed, looking down at the peaceful, sleeping face of the child he was holding. "I'm still not happy about it...but Ian trusts you. I'm not trying to be funny but I barely even know you..."

"What do you think I'm going to do, kill her or something?"

Saskia made an impatient noise as Ian came in. Not many people had approved when he'd gotten Saskia pregnant when they were both just sixteen, but a year on, both of them were quite happy with their lives. Tala, on the other hand, could think of no worse torture, having a wife to nag you all day. "Do you even know how to-"

"I used to live in an orphanage, it was expected of me to help out. I know how to look after babies, why the hell else would Ian have asked me?"

Saskia looked annoyed, and probably would have said something else had not Ian whisked her out of the door. Tala stood up, cradling Irina to his chest, and walked around the room. It was small and sparsely furnished, but it was meticulously clean. That was probably Ian's doing. He'd always been a clean freak...

"Last time I saw you you were a newborn and all you did was scream. Nice to see that's worn off. But now I've said that, you'll start screaming." The baby looked up at him, wide blue eyes unblinking. "No? Thank you. Tch, look at your eyes. They're like mine, aren't they, titch? I wonder if your Mummy and Daddy are having a nice time? They said they'd be back in an hour or two, so you don't have to put up with me for very long, don't worry."

He unwrapped Irina from her blanket and settled her on his hip, making sure she was comfortable before heading into the kitchen. He was never sure why Saskia and Ian had chosen turquoise for their kitchen, but it worked somehow... "You're probably wondering who I am, hm, Iri? I'm one of your Daddy's friends. Your Mummy thinks I'm a freak, but that's because I'm gay, and she doesn't like gay people. I think Kai's gay...he's another one of your Daddy's friends, and he's in a mental hospital because his Grandfather did bad things to him. You might think your Daddy's a nutter at times, but he's normal compared to the rest of us. And your Mummy...well, she'd probably kill me if she knew I was talking to you about mental hospitals and gay people."

With a sigh, Tala decided to try feeding Irina, for want of anything better to do.

* * *

Kai lay in his bed that night, trying to remember who Saskia was. The more he wound himself up about it, the less he could remember, and the more hysterical he got, until he was at the point where he was sitting in the middle of his floor, ranting about who the hell Saskia was. In the end, the doctors decided to drug him.

* * *

The first thing Saskia saw when she walked into the living room was Tala, seemingly asleep, with Irina laid on his chest, and a glass bottle of clear liquid on the floor beside the chair. She gave a squawk of rage, and Irina started to cry. "Don't get upset, Iri, your Mummy's just getting angry with me like she always does..." Said Tala soothingly. He opened his eyes and smiled. "See, I'm not asleep." He winked and stood up, depositing Irina back into her mother's arms.

"What's that?" Asked Saskia irritatedly, pointing to the bottle. Tala picked it up and took a sip of it, smiling.

"Mineral water in a vodka bottle. I wanted to see if you'd really believe I'd drink vodka while I was looking after a baby. I suggest next time you get a babysitter, you make sure you actually trust them before you ask them round." Tala took another swig of water and kissed Irina's forehead softly before leaving.

Saskia glared after him, and Ian sighed. "I told you, Sas, he knows about kids. He looked after loads of them before we went to the abbey, and he had brothers and sisters as well. You've royally pissed him off now. And he probably wasn't too great to begin with- he went to see Kai today, you know."

Saskia's face softened. "The one in the asylum?" Ian nodded.

"I should really go and see him myself some time..."

"It's horrible...that his own grandfather hurt him..." Subconsciously, Saskia held Irina a little closer to her chest.

"He's only a year younger than us, Sas. He just cracked one day, and it all came out. He'd been hiding it for years..." Ian sighed. "It's so weird, thinking that Kai's...insane. If you'd asked me a while ago, I would have said he was the last person I'd expect to go mental..."

"Well sometimes things don't happen like you think they will, hon. Come on, let's put Irina to bed..."

* * *

Rei sighed as he walked into Kai's room, opening his arms for Kai to fall into them, sobbing. "I couldn't remember...and they...they..." He pulled back and showed Rei the tiny mark left from where they'd put the needle in the night before. "I'm still scared...he's still out there and I don't want them to come near me and I don't want to draw pictures of him and I-I'm scared because everyone hates me and he'll find me and he'll...he'll...he'll hurt me again!" He wailed. Rei rubbed his back soothingly.

"Kai, calm down." Kai burst into tears, and Rei led him over to the bed, sitting him down and waiting while he curled himself up in his duvet and then sat in the corner, on top of his pillows. When he was particularly frightened, that was always be what he would do- hide in the corner, cover himself up, or both. It was...strange, but in a way obvious. If you were in a corner, you didn't have to worry about people sneaking up on you, even if they were invisible people, and even if it was only a duvet it could stop someone touching you if you didn't want them to.

"Kai...what did he do to you? Why did he-?" Kai looked around nervously.

"I'm not allowed to tell you...he told me he'd kill me if I told people..."

"Well I'll kill him then. Kai, he's not important. Just talk to me, Kai."

"No...he'll find out..."

"Well if I don't tell him, and you don't tell him, how's he going to find out?"

"He'll make me tell him, he always does! And if I don't...he..." Kai shuddered and pulled the duvet up over his head. Rei sighed and shifted over to him, wrapping his arms around Kai's blanketed waist as far as they would go. "Kai, please. Please tell me what he did...all you've said is that he hurt you. How did he hurt you?"

Kai's face appeared through the blankets and he leaned in to Rei's ear, holding Rei's shoulder with a shaking hand. "I...I... H-He said..."

"What did he say?" Rei turned and looked at Kai. The Russian was shaking his head, eyes glassy with tears, moving his lips soundlessly. "What are you trying to say, Kai?"

"Y-Y-"

"Kai, come on, you can tell me."

"Yabayus!" Kai sobbed, holding his head in his hands. Rei bit his lip then started to cry.

"I'm sorry, Kai...please talk to me again...don't go back to talking in Russian...I'm sorry..."

"P-Prostite...I'm s..." Kai hesitated, lips trying to form the rest of the word. "I'm s..." He wailed. "S..." He clawed at his mouth, as if trying to tear out the word, leaving red lines across his jaw and cheeks. Rei could see that he was getting hysterical, so he grabbed Kai's hands.

Kai screamed, startled, and tried to pull away, succeeding only in hitting his head hard off the wall, dazing himself, enough for Rei to be able to comfort him and calm him down. A scant thirty seconds later Kai had regained his balance enough to try and speak again, once again getting frustrated, once again starting to claw at himself. As he was doing so, one of the attendants walked in, and, seeing that Kai had hurt himself, and was now trying to again, he ran over, dragging Kai away from Rei.

"NIET!" He screamed, struggling to get back to Rei. The guard misunderstood his quest for freedom and pinned him against the wall. Kai screamed again, eyes wild and rolling with fear. He was screaming so much he was foaming at the mouth, evidently terrified beyond belief, struggling wildly, but that just made the guard hold him harder. Rei watched in horror, then ran over, dragging the guard off Kai forcefully. Kai fell to the floor, twitching, making choked, incoherent sounds of fear.

"Kai...Kai, it's okay, you're safe now...he's gone..." Kai twitched once more and lay still. Rei rolled him onto his back and saw that Kai was unconscious. Tenderly, he picked the Russian up and laid him on his bed, covering him with the duvet, which had been knocked to the floor in all the confusion. After that, he turned to the attendant, murder in his eyes.

"Is that company policy? Shoving abuse victims up against walls? He could have been raped for all you know!"

"But he was..."

"Yes, he was hurting himself, but at least he was in control of that! You've just destroyed any kind of progress he's made!"

"But he was trying to escape!"

"He was trying to get back to me, you imbecile! Because he trusts me! Because he knows I won't hurt him! Because..." Rei drew himself up, decisively. "Because I'm his boyfriend!"

"Oh...oh my God...I'm so sorry..."

Rei glared. "Lovely. Sorry. Well what's that going to do for Kai? Sorry, I just reminded you of the worst experience of your whole life! Sorry, I just made you remember being tortured by your own grandfather! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" He reached out, slapping the attendant across the face. The individual in question scuttled out, forgetting that his original mission was to tell Rei to leave. Rei took it upon himself to get out, and to lock the door behind himself.

* * *

Yabayus: I'm scared.

Prostite: I'm sorry.

Niet: No.

Next Chapter: Tyson causes a LOT of trouble. Next chapter's kinda short too, so sorry in advance. The one after that's longer though.

I know, I know, I was cruel to Kai. But there's a reason, there's always a reason if you're just a bit more patient. Let's just say that sometimes you need a shock to make you think things through...

Plans: Well after I finish this story there are some definite things I want to do. First off, I want to write something a bit like what's going on for me at the moment, because it's a lot on my mind. Secondly, I want to try doing a yaoi OC fic. I have nothing against OC writers, some OCs are marvellous, but I look on the just in for Beyblade and all I see are 'A team of five girls joins the bladebreakers. KaiOC, ReiOC, TysonOC, MaxOC, KennyOC (and all the restOC!). No offence, but it's getting on my nerves, because a lot of the time the OC in question is just an author insert. But that's a big generalisation. I've found some OCs I've really loved and accepted as part of the story, but five Mary Sues put in as an excuse to give everyone their 'perfect' girlfriend is a bit much… And they're always MARY-sues, never Gary-sues, because, and correct me if I'm wrong, but so far there are few, if ANY yaoi OC fics! BTW: OC means Original Character, in case any of you didn't know.

Anyway, I'll stop ranting at you now!

As ever, R&R, I appreciate every single comment you guys make, even the flames!


	5. Chapter 5

People said a while back that they felt sorry for Tyson...well none of you will after this chapter. Hee, I had my last exam today...NO MORE EXAMS! Wahey! Wazoo! Can you tell I'm a bit high? Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed, love and hugs to you all!

Endoh Chiaki: I'm glad you liked it. ike I said last chapter, this chapter's kinda short. I promise the next one's longer though!

WolfDemonQueen: Good!

skimmie: Here it is!

Kanilla: Yay! Someone else noticed the distinct lack of maleOCs! Drop me a line when you post it, I wanna read it! I just get so sick of the everyonexOCs because they don't want to use Hilary, Emily, Mariah and Mariam...

Just that good: Kurse you guard! Kurse you and all you do! Sorry, having a Final Fantasy 8 moment there...the final boss says 'Kurse you' and I think it's funny...

Ellen: Hee, judging by the two reviews you left the site was messing with you...and continued to do so! Doesn't matter though.

MikeyWaysgirl: Poor little insane Kai. But he's really cute like that...

Echo in the Dark: It's going quite well...I called him Andy. The OC, I mean...

miriam906: I'm glad you liked it, and when I get a few minutes I'll go and check out your fic, 'kay? I have to post this and get off right after because my brother needs to email his uni...

Curtis Zidane Ziraa: One of the guards speks Russian, just not that stupid one. When I say Mary-Sue, I mean someone who is sickeningly perfect and is very often the author with their bad features spruced up a little. It's just a me thing, but ever since I used to read Final Fantasy fics and I found OCs paired into my OTPs I've hated them...

kai kon: Well I went and looked at the fic, but the translator said that Hikaru-Chan15 wrote it...which I was NOT very happy about. I got the basic gist of the review you left and yes, I am VERY particular about people using my stuff...especially when they say someone else wrote it...and I know just about enough Spanish to recognise my own author notes...bah. I reviewed and asked the translator to put that right. And if Akire777 wants to translate anything else, my email address is up now so no excuses! Permission or removal! Hoo boy... Aside from that, thank you for your nice comments!

BloodyShadows: I love angry Rei, he's so...angry. that sounded lame, but I like him angry, I just don't write him like that often or it'd be a little OOC...

snowy leapord 101: I'm glad you liked it!

Naru Hiwatari: I'm -always- cruel to Kai...maybe one of these days I'll give him a happy middle and beginning as well as a happy ending...

animeobsession: I know a Gary too, but the only Mary I know is incredibly stupid and not very nice at all. Maybe she's part of the reason I don't like Mary-Sues...

Ice Spirit: Kill himself? Nah. He has in the past and probably will again, but not in this fic...

PandaPjays: While I agree that they are all incredibly gay, I disagree that there are no female characters. There are four female characters- Hilary, Emily, Mariah and Mariam. that means you only need one OC. ONE! Not five, or in the worst cases more than that! Sorry, I'm being very rude, but over-OCing drives me mental, and it's not like I'm not mental enough to start off with...

Anyway, here's the chapter. It's short, but the next one's longer, I promise!

* * *

Rei laid in his own bed that night, worrying about Kai. He'd never seen anyone so frightened before... With a sigh, he rolled over. Sleep was eluding him, and so were all the answers he wanted. Why had Kai told him he loved him? Did Kai remember telling him that? Why did it bother him so much? And why had he said he was Kai's boyfriend? Why did he keep going back all the time?

Because...Kai needed him. And...he'd said he was Kai's boyfriend because... 'You want it to be true.' Cut in his mind. Rei sighed again and closed his eyes, feeling as if tomorrow should just skip to the point where he'd be able to see Kai...

* * *

"Kai?" Angelina walked into the room, pencils and paper at the ready, only to find Kai sitting in the corner, on his beanbag, covered with the duvet up to his neck. She gasped as she looked properly at his eyes. They were darting around suspiciously, wild and wide. He bared his teeth as he saw her, snarling. Angelina decided it was in her best interests to leave.

* * *

"Kai? Kai, are you in here?" Kai crawled out from under the bed, glaring. As he saw that it was Rei and not Angelina, his face settled into a peacefully blank expression. He walked over to Rei and leaned against him. Rei understood what he wanted- he wanted to be held, to feel safe again. His arms wrapped tightly around Kai's waist, and he whispered reassuringly in Kai's ear. "It's okay, Kai, I'm back, I'm here, you're safe, and no-one's ever going to do that to you again if I can help it!"

"S..." Rei held his breath, waiting for a repeat of the day before. "Spaseeba..." Rei almost sighed, then caught himself. Speaking in Russian was better than hurting himself, and it was better than him not speaking at all. "Shh, it's okay, it's okay, Kai. Everything'll be okay, don't worry..." He kissed the side of Kai's head, bringing up one hand to stroke the Russian's messy hair.

"Y...Ya tebya lyublyu...spaseeba..."

"Kai, stop thanking me...and...I...I think I might love you too..." Kai looked at him, puzzled, and Rei blushed. "I know what I said before, Kai...but I...I thought about it...I really thought about it...and..." Rei flung his arms around Kai's neck, getting as close to him as he could. "To hell with Mariah!"

Kai's hands came to rest on his waist, and he sighed, face buried in Kai's collar. "Hold me closer..." He whispered. Kai's hands slipped round to his back, pulling them tighter together. There was a clicking sound and Kai suddenly let go of him, backing away. Rei turned, and found a rather puzzled Tyson behind him. "Um...hi?" Kai stared at him warily. "You okay, Kai?" Kai continued to stare.

"He's okay, Tyson, he just had a bit of a rough night last night. You didn't say you were coming..."

"I wanted to surprise you both!" Tyson beamed. "I just thought, you know, after all the stuff with Voltaire-"

Kai twitched suddenly, growling. "Nu vse, tebe pizda!" Tyson eyed him nervously, and Rei gawped. Crisis point. Kai launched himself at Tyson and tackled him to the floor, showering him with punches. Tyson yelled, and Rei heard the tell-tale footsteps of Jack and his crew. They burst in through the door and dragged Kai away. He shouted and struggled as Tyson scuttled away, hiding behind Rei.

Rei held no sympathy. "Tyson, get out of here, I'll be back later!"

"But what if he gets you?"

"Tyson, he isn't going to 'get' me. Just go."

"But-"

"Get out!" Tyson obeyed the yelled order while Rei tried to sort out the mass of flailing limbs that was Kai. They'd wrestled him to the floor and he was hollering, desperate and scared. Rei tried to get between the guards, but one pushed him back, so hard that he tripped and fell. Kai saw him fall and yelled even louder, dragging up some unimaginable strength from somewhere and ripping free, crawling over to Rei and pulling him up so that he was sitting, holding him against his chest. Rei glared at the guards over Kai's shoulder, and they left, quietly and quickly.

"Kai, I'm okay. It didn't hurt, I was just surprised. Thank you for worrying about me, though." He sighed. "I'm going to throw Tyson out of a window if he does anything like that again..."

"Zalupa..." Kai muttered.

"Hm?" Rei yawned. "I'm kind of tired, Kai...would you mind if I went to sleep for a little bit?"

"Niet." Kai said softly. Rei closed his eyes, leaning against the Russian comfortably.

"I'm not digging into you or anything, am I?"

"Niet." Kai stroked Rei's hair with reverent fingers as the neko-jin drifted off to sleep, breathing delicately.

* * *

"Kai?" Rei woke up in the morning with the Russian's name on his lips, but found himself not in Kai's arms, as he had been. Far from it- he was lying on the sofa at home, nose pressed into the threadbare cushion. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning, trying to work out how he'd ended up back home...

"You're awake now, huh? What happened to you coming back? I had to go looking for you with Mr. D! We thought you'd been kidnapped!" Rei sighed, remembering the night before.

"Tyson, you walked in and started talking about his grandfather! How stupid -are- you? Do you even know how terrified he is of Voltaire? How could you walk in and say something like that?" Rei stood up, facing Tyson angrily. "He would have killed you. Because he's so afraid. He's afraid of Voltaire coming back to beat him up him again, he's scared witless and YOU came in and struck up a conversation about him!"

"Rei, he's mad! Clinically insane!" Rei swelled with fury, and even though in reality he was a couple of inches shorter than Tyson, he seemed to tower.

"WELL WHAT WOULD YOU BE IF YOUR GRANDFATHER ABUSED YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS?" He screeched. "AT LEAST HE'S TRYING!"

"Look-"

"No, you look! You might think Kai's insane, well fine! But I don't! Because he's not insane around me! Because he knows he's safe! And no matter what you might think, I know I'm safe with him! You should have just left me there last night, Tyson, I would have been happier waking up in his arms than on your sofa!" He bared his teeth, hissing with anger. "I'm going to see him." He turned and started to walk away.

"But we have training!" Tyson protested. Rei stopped short and whirled around, furious.

"Take your training and stuff it up your backside, Tyson! You go and train with Max, because I have more important things to worry about than beyblades!"

* * *

Next Chapter: The Demolition Boys visit Kai, and Tala goes for a job interview.

R&R please!

PS: I just realised, there ARE five female characters in Beyblade! There's MingMing as well! Jeesh, what do they need OCs for?


	6. Chapter 6

Wow! I almost died of shock when I saw how many reviews I got for that last chapter! You guys make me so happy! I'm sitting here watching Scissor Sisters on Live8 on the TV, and if you haven't already registered yourself on Live8livedotcom then please go and do so! I sound like a pusher, but it's kind of an important thing for me at the moment. And, about those reviews, here are the replies!

Endoh Chiaki: Well I hope you like this chapter as much as you've liked the others.

PandaPjays: Scorn to Mariah! I have a grudge against OC fics too, that's why I want to try one. It sounds really strange, but after hating mpreg for a million years, I decided to try one, and (a LONG time ago) I actually didn't like yaoi. Good job I got converted, huh?

miriam906:I read your fic, and reviewed. Although I'll confess that I'm the cause of some of your errant hit count- I opened the fic a couple of times intending to read it and then got told to get off the computer. My Mum's in the midst of a divorce and my brother's off to uni in September so I keep getting shipped off the computer.

Yami Pandora: I'm glad you like it, and I feel kinda sorry for Kai too at the moment...

MikeyWaysgirl: I agree wholeheartedly. But Tyson isn't mean, he's just stupid...

Echo in the Dark: I can support them putting in one OC just for Kai, but personally I don't like it when EVERY male character gets an OC. I think if you put in too many OCs it becomes more like an original story than a work of fanfiction. To be honest, I have nothing against OCs. I just don't like lots of them in one story...

darkangelintheshadows: The attendant did get what he asked for, I couldn't not have Rei slap him after what he did...

Thin-K: Isn't it amazing how one sentence can make everyone hate Tyson? Ah, he's just stupid. And he doesn't -really- want to train, he just thinks Kai's dangerous and he doesn't want Rei to see him!

Reis1gurl: Will he ever be normal again? Well, this chapter explains that, so read on!

Little-Purple-Phoenix: I'm glad you like it, and yes Tyson -is- an idiot, isn't he?

Kiko cat: Yeah, yson's stupid. Story of his life, huh?

Just that good: I think just about ANYONE would prefer Kai's arms to a sofa...I know I would (despite the fact that Kai is actually a bunch of pixels. Ah well.).

Mei Kimari: My story alerts are being annoying like that as well...bah. I'm glad you like the idea, I always aim to do something different...

snowy leapord 101: You bet'cha I will! And I'm glad you like it too!

animeobsession: They're so protective of each other that it makes me squee (make strange noises that mean I find something immensely cute). I LOVE insane Kai!

Ellen: Yeah, I forgot about half of them in my overuse-of-OC induced rage...thanks for pointing them out!

skimmie: Here it is!

KyokiXKurama: I don't follow Yu-Yu-Hakusho, sorry. I had a look at it on absoluteanime and it looks good, but at the moment I'm following Gundam and Fruits Basket so my every spare penny goes on more manga and DVDs... And I'm glad you like the things I write. I can't agree about the parings though...I'll read and write ANY pairing so long as it's yaoi! Sometimes I try my hand at het, but usually as a side plot to the main one...

Sugar Goose: Yeah, I am quite fast. I'm so impatient, so I try and post every day, two days? Fast, anyway. I like childish Kai too, especially with his teddy bear!

Ice Spirit: A lot of people have been pointing out that I missed people, so thanks...usually I just forget about the girls since I'm such a yaoi lover. In Gundam I hate Relena with an undying passion because not only is she annoying but she gets in the way of the yaoi-licious goodness...

Lainyisme: Yay! Another angst lover! Some people think I'm evil for making the characters but I like to make them -deserve- their happy ending...

ArcticalWolf: Thanks for pointing them out...I tend to forget the girls, being a yaoi-lover...and I, too, had days before yaoi. How shameful... I was obsessed with Final Fantasy het.. These days I wouldn't dare read stuff like that...

ray-is-sexy: I like your name (and agree compoletely), and I like learning things in other languages too...I can say 'I am a fish' in three languages beside English.You know, in case I ever go travelling and want to be comitted to a mental asylum like Kai...

Kanilla: The site deletes any email addresses and websites it finds in reviews...um...I have no idea what site you were trying to give me. Sorry. And thanks for the compliment. It can inflate my already over-inflated head, which probably won't be so inflated when I get my exam results back on the 25th August...I hate how they make you wait so long for them...

Person-whose-name-the-site-appears-to-have-deleted: Thank you very much, for being so nice about my writing -and- for pointing out the rest of the female beybladers. You're helping me prove my point that there don't need to be 5+ OCs in any given story...

Celestial-Dragon-Demon: The translation sites are...they're on a review reply for another chapter, I can't actually remember all of them...um...Chapter Four, the reply for SoulSister has them in.

Curtis Zidane Ziraa: I usually think job interviews are more scary than interesting, but I can see where you're coming from...

Prozacfairy: 'pink fluffball'...bwahahahahaha! I like it! People have such great names for Mariah- the Pink Menace, and now the Pink Fluffball...I love them all!

And now...the chapter! And if you didn't get a reply, it's because the site is stopping me from seeing the most recent couple of reviews, so I'm sorry about that.

* * *

"Hey, Rei!" Rei paused outside the door of Kai's room and turned, to find Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian behind him. "Are you seeing Kai?" Rei nodded wordlessly, reached out his hand and the paused, hand stretched towards the door handle. 

"Don't go in all at once. He won't be able to deal with that many people. Two or three maybe, but no more. And that two or three includes me."

Tala nodded, knowing what to expect. "C'mon, Bry, you and me can go in first. And...he's not the same as he used to be, Just go with it, and whatever you do, don't mention Voltaire, or he'll freak out, okay?" Bryan nodded, and they followed Rei into the room. Kai was sitting on the floor, scribbling randomly on a piece of paper, poking holes in it and tearing it at the edges. He wrote something, then scribbled it out, then wrote it again, and scribbled it out. Tala and Bryan shared uneasy glances and Rei looked at them both, enquiring.

"He's writing...he's writing the Russian for rape..." Tala whispered in his ear. Rei paled slightly, then knelt down beside Kai, enough in front of him for Kai to be able to see who it was. Kai looked up at him, looked down, then looked up again, surprised. "Rei?"

"I told Tyson he could stick training. And I said if I fell asleep here again he should just leave me. He thinks you'll hurt me, but I told him he's an idiot for even imagining that." Rei leaned forwards and kissed Kai softly on his cheek. "Tala and Bryan are here, and Spencer and Ian said they'd come along some time later..." Kai turned his head, blinked, then went back to scribbling. Rei took hold of the pencil and Kai looked up at him, puzzled. "What are you drawing?" Kai answered with a shrug. "Why don't you draw me a picture of you, so I can think about you when I'm not here?"

Kai blinked, took a fresh sheet of paper, and drew a stick man in the corner, gave it a tuft of spiky hair, then scribbled the rest of the page in black pencil. Rei tutted, shaking his head. "It's spikier than that, Kai...give it here..." Kai handed over the colouring pencils, and Rei set to work, drawing a little chibi-Kai, with a Rei beside him, giving a peace sign and grinning. "And then there's Tala and Bryan..." Rei added them in, colouring Tala's hair the brightest red he could find, making the two chibi-Demolition Boys hold hands. On inspiration, he drew a love heart behind himself and Kai. "Who else? Spencer and Ian..." Rei added them in, making Ian complete with wedding ring and baby. "And Max, and Kenny...Tyson, even though he's a pain in the backside..." They all shone there, surrounding Kai in the picture, all laughing and smiling and happy. "Can you think of anyone I haven't put on?"

"What about Dranzer?" Put in Tala, crouching down as well. Bryan joined him, so that they were sitting in a little circle. Rei added Dranzer, giving her beak an upwards turn, making her smile for her master. "Any more you can think of?" Asked Rei. Kai shook his head, then picked up the drawing, fingers tracing over all of the little chibis. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth "Spaseeba, Rei."

The door opened suddenly, and an attendant ushered a protesting Spencer and Ian into the room. Kai froze, and Rei closed his eyes. Another crisis. When would they all learn to just leave Kai alone? He took hold of Kai's hand and squeezed it tightly. Kai opened his mouth and closed it again, talking without making any noise. He made a cracked, choked sound in the back of his throat and whimpered, looking around at his old teammates, seeing only too many people, too many to cope with, too many to keep watching...

"I think you'd better go..." Rei suggested, feeling Kai starting to shake, dropping the picture and shifting away. Rei followed him to the wall and hugged him. "It's okay, Kai, it's safe, they won't hurt you..."

"Y-Yabayus..." Kai's knees rose to his chest and he laid his head on them, covering it with his arms. Rei looked up at the other Demolition Boys and shook his head. "Kai, just look a them for me. Look at them." Kai glanced up and then let his head drop. "Kai, speak to them. They can talk back to you, I can't. Tell them what's worrying you, tell them in Russian, I'm sure one of them can translate for me..."

Kai blurted out a sentence in Russian, and Tala sighed, crouching down in front of him. "We're not going to hurt you, Kai. We just want to help. Is there anything we can do?" Kai whimpered again and turned, burying his face in Rei's neck and collar, starting to cry softly. Rei sighed.

"You should go. He needs to calm down..." Tala nodded, ruffling Kai's hair before leading the rest of his team out of the room. Kai sobbed, and Rei pulled the Russian into his lap, encircling him in a warm embrace. "Shh, Kai, it's okay, I love you, so everything's okay." He rubbed Kai's back soothingly. "Shh, Kai. I love you. Wo ai ni. Aishiteru. All of them. Ya Teb...okay, well I still can't get the hang of Russian pronunciation, but I love you Kai. I'm here for you. Whenever I'm here, it's safe, okay?" Kai nodded. "Should I ask Tala back?" Another nod. "Well, get off me a minute so I can go after them." Kai obeyed, and Rei left the room.

* * *

"It's scary, seeing him like that..." Mused Ian, sighing. Tala nodded. 

"Voltaire...what a bastard. They put him in prison for tax dodging, they should have hanged him for being a...a...I can't even say it. He's disgusting..." Tala ranted, as they walked along.

"Hey, Tala! Wait!" Rei sped up behind them. "Tala...could you come back?"

"Has he calmed down?" Rei nodded.

"Well...sort of. He was scared because he doesn't trust anyone any more, he thinks everyone's out to hurt him, and if there are too many people he can't watch them all at once to make sure they're not trying to hurt him...if that makes sense. But he said he wants to talk to you all...together. It might be too much, but at least let him try..."

Tala nodded, and then started walking back in the direction they'd come in. "I thought he started speaking in English...why's he gone back to Russian?" Rei clenched his fists.

"Some idiot guard went and pinned him up against a wall...I...I've never seen anyone so scared...I was scared for him...he was screaming so hard he was foaming at the mouth! He was twitching, not like shaking, actually twitching...and then he went unconscious. He hasn't been the same since. The first day after that his psychologist couldn't see him because he just went...wild."

The Demolition Boys buzzed angrily, then stopped as they reached Kai's room again. Rei opened the door and walked inside. Kai was sitting where they'd left him, but now he was holding Lapushka tightly. Rei fell suddenly ignorant of the Demolition Boys and went over to him, sitting down beside him and kissing his cheek softly as Tala and the others came and sat down. "Kai, are you okay? Is this okay?" Asked Rei, concerned. Kai nodded hesitantly, and Rei snuggled up beside him, taking hold of his free hand and squeezing it gently. "Kai...would you mind if I left for a second? I said I'd phone Lee." A lie, but a believable one, he hoped. Kai looked highly doubtful, but then, a tiny nod. Rei kissed him again and left the room.

* * *

"Kai...should we speak to you in Russian or English?" Asked Tala, moving closer to Kai and laying an arm around his shoulders. Kai shifted away, looking fearful. Tala sighed softly and leaned back against the wall. "What's the bear called?" 

"L..." Kai blinked. "Lapushka..."

"Rei gave you it, right?"

Kai blinked again, then nodded, looking over at the wall opposite. Tala sighed, looking around at the other guys. They hadn't seen Kai before, they were probably as shocked as he'd been... Bryan was sitting there looking somewhat horrified, Ian was shaking his head, and Spencer was looking as if he were about to cry. Kai looked at them and shifted away a little further. Spencer coughed suddenly and Kai jumped, startled, hugging his bear to his chest.

"What did he -do- to you, Kai?" Asked Bryan, sighing. Kai glared suddenly and stood up, walking over to his bed and hiding in the duvet again. Tala kicked Bryan on the ankle and went over to join Kai, respectfully keeping his distance. "Ignore Bryan, Kai. It's okay. We can't pretend to know how you feel but we're here for you. If you want to tell us what happened, that's okay, but if you don't, that's okay too. It's alright to be frightened, but please don't think we'd hurt you, because none of us would." Tala's voice was soft and gentle. "He's not worth it, Kai. Please, just try and talk to us. Even just a few words."

"I..." Kai tried to pull his English back into his mind. "I'm too...weak..."

"That's not true, Kai."

"I...I'm...s..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, dragging the unwilling language onto his tongue. "I'm s...scared..."

"I know, Kai, I know, but we're all here to help you. Everyone wants you to get better, Kai..."

"He said I was stupid and...that was why...he said...he said it was...f-for my own..." Kai paused. "For my o-own...g-good..."

Tala sighed. "Rape is never in anyone's best interests, Kai."

"R...Rape..." Kai sniffed. "I can't...I...I..." He sobbed and pulled the duvet up over his head, pressing himself into the corner. Tala bit his lip. He'd been wrong to use that word...they didn't even know exactly what Voltaire had done to him, but judging by his reaction to being pinned against the wall, it was highly likely...and highly sickening. "L-Leave me alone...d-don't hurt me..." Kai whispered fearfully.

"No, Kai, I won't hurt you."

"L-Liar!" Kai yelled. Tala reached out and touched the blanket, but Kai exploded out of it, screeching. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

"Okay, I won't touch you, Kai...calm down..." Kai glared at him, breathing heavily.

"Don't touch me...I d-don't...I don't...like it."

"Okay, that's okay, that's fine." Kai shivered and held Lapushka tightly.

"I want Rei. Where's Rei?"

"He went to use the phone. Should I go and find him for you?" Kai eyed him suspiciously, then nodded. Tala got up, and left the room. Kai watched the other three suspiciously, eyes darting between them until Tala came back in, with Rei following behind him. The neko-jin smiled and came over to Kai, stroking his hair gently. "Did any of them hurt you?"

"N-No..."

"There you go then."

Kai flung his arms around Rei's waist and pressed his face into Rei's chest. Rei sat down, holding Kai against himself tightly. "I'm sorry!"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry f-for being so p-pathetic...b-but I'm scared...I'm so scared...s-s-sometimes I d-don't even know what I'm s-scared of!" Kai burst out, voice slightly muffled by the silk of Rei's tabard. "I'm scared..." Kai whined, fingers digging into Rei's skin.

"Kai, you don't have to be scared. No-one wants to hurt you, not on purpose..."

"B-But Grandfather-"

"Don't think about him. He's nothing, he doesn't exist! He's just a bad dream, a memory, and he'll never be able to hurt you again!" Rei cried, holding Kai tighter. "If he ever comes anywhere near you again it'll be over my dead body!"

"B-But-"

"No buts! Forget about him, Kai, he isn't worth the pain! Please, Kai, please, just remember that it's over. It's been years since he did anything to you. It's all just a horrible thing that happened in the past and now you have to start again because you can't let him control you like this! It's not wrong to have friends, Kai, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong!" Rei took a deep breath. "When that guard pushed me over, you were so worried you pulled up all that strength from nowhere- you pushed away four guards, Kai, and it was because you wanted to make sure I was okay! It's not wrong to have friends, it's not wrong to be in love! Did it feel wrong to you when I fell asleep in your arms?"

"N...No..." Whispered Kai. Rei pulled him back slightly and kissed him, a searing, desperate kiss, as quick as it was passionate.

"You don't have to be scared, Kai, you don't have to think people will hurt you. If you trust people, if you give them a chance... Did they hurt you when I wasn't here? Did they even -look- like they wanted to hurt you? No, they didn't! People don't want to hurt people, only sick, twisted people like your grandfather like seeing people in pain! Don't let the memory of that BASTARD ruin your life any more!"

"Rei...I-"

"I know you're scared, Kai, I know it's hard but please, let yourself forget him!"

"R-Rei...I...I'm sorry-"

"No! Stop apologising! None of this is your fault! But only you have the power to stop him from winning. And I know you can do it because you aren't weak!" Rei's eyes filled with tears. "You're strong, Kai. You're so strong inside that it makes me jealous sometimes. You're so strong, Kai...I know you can get over all of this..."

"I'm not strong..."

"Yes you are!" Rei argued. "My cat side is screaming at me to submit to you, to let you dominate me, and the dominant person is always the stronger of the two! I can break bricks in half with my bare hands and yet I submit to you because you're stronger! Stop letting him brainwash you! Kai, I'm begging you, just try! Try talking to your psychologist, try talking to me, try talking to anyone!"

"B-But-"

"Kai, I only have one wish at the moment, and that is to see you outside of this room! If you love me, prove it! Tell me what he did to you!"

"Rei..."

"No-one's going to laugh, no-one's going to think you're weak, just tell me!" Kai hesitated, fearful, then opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He sniffed, shook his head, and tried again.

"He...used to...to...t-touch me...b-because he s-said that I owed him f-f-for looking after me after m-my parents...died." Kai said, stuttering badly. He took a deep breath and continued, shaking like a leaf. "And w-when I got older he...he used to...he...hit me...b-because I wanted friends and he s-s-said I c-couldn't have them b-because it w-would m-m-make me weaker...and...he...he..." Kai's stutters died away, leaving the other five occupants of the room in shocked silence. "He used t-to make me...m-m-make me...he...I c-can't...I can't s-s-say it..." Rei clicked his tongue sympathetically.

"It's okay, Kai, just calm down and take you time."

"He made me p-p-pleasure him!" Kai burst out, bursting into tears at the same time. "And he r-raped me and I w-wasn't allowed t-to tell anyb-anybody! B-because I w-was so pathetic and n-nobody could kn-know about anything so I c-couldn't talk to anyone and if he s-saw me talking to someone he would...w-would...he would...say things to me...and I...I c-couldn't..." Kai's wavering voice shut off, and he mouthed silently, tears pouring down his face in glittering streams. Rei wiped his tears away gently, cooing softly in his ear. "There, Kai, see, you did it, now calm down, because you're going to get better...you're going to get better and everything'll be okay..."

Kai sniffed, feeling another set of arms hold him. "I'm s-scared..." He whispered.

"No, Kai, don't be scared. It's only me, Tala. Come on, Kai, you can do this, you can forget about him..."

"I..."

"Can. Say it, Kai, say that you can." Whispered Rei. Kai clutched at him, shivering.

"I...I c-c...can..." He shivered as another pair of arms encircled him, and a hand touched his shoulder. Someone pressed against his back and he sighed. Somehow he wasn't scared any more...he knew that they weren't his grandfather...knew that they wouldn't try to hurt him... "R-Rei..." Rei tightened his hold around Kai's waist, knowing that now was when he needed most of all to be able to say the right things.

"I'm here, Kai, it's okay..."

"I d-don't...like..." Kai opened his eyes finally, staring straight into Rei's. "I don't like being in here..."

"I know you don't, Kai, but that's okay."

"I...I...don't think I'm scared any more..."

"Good. Oh Kai I'm so glad..."

"I don't...understand..."

"It doesn't matter! Oh Kai..." Rei felt his eyes filling with tears of relief and joy.

"I'm sorry..." Kai said, puzzled, thinking he'd done something to upset Rei. The neko-jin shook his head, gave a choking laugh, and kissed Kai full on the lips. "I'm not crying because I'm sad...I'm crying because I...I'm so happy!"

Somehow he knew that now Kai had started recovering, he wouldn't stop...

* * *

"Hey. I'm Tala, I came about getting a job here..." Tala smiled uneasily, but stayed resolute. He knew there were children like Kai in orphanages, and he was sure this one was no exception. But, the way he figured it, if he was good with children, and he knew he was, then he could stop them from having to suffer like Kai had. He didn't have the school grades or the other qualifications necessary to become a psychologist, but he could at least try and help in some other way... 

The woman in front of him looked flustered, balancing two babies and a bottle. Tala reached out and took one of the infants, holding it to his chest and smiling. "Um...you must be Mrs. Korbachov?"

"Yes, yes, and no, there is no job for you here!"

"But...you look run off your feet..."

"There is no job for you! You're a man, children don't trust men!" Tala smiled as one of the children in the next room saw him.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm pretty good with kids. You see...before this orphanage relocated, I used to live here. Didn't you ever hear about Tala Ivanov?"

"Mister...why's your hair all red and spiky?" Tala turned to find a small, thin little girl behind him. He knelt down, smiling.

"I don't know, it was that colour when I was born. How did yours get to be such a beautiful blonde, hm?"

"Mama's was this colour."

"She must have been very beautiful, having hair like that. What's your name?"

"Saskia."

"Really? One of my friends has a wife called Saskia, but she's not as nice as you. She doesn't like me very much..."

"Why?" The child asked, wide eyed. Tala smiled, then laughed softly.

"She thinks I'm crazy."

"They said my Papa was crazy because he killed Mama."

"One of my friends...another one of them...he had to go into hospital because he had things wrong with his mind, but he's all better now. Maybe one day your papa will get better too." Saskia smiled shyly, and reached up a hand to play with Tala's hair.

"I don't think you're crazy. You're nice." She giggled. "What's your name?"

"Tala."

"Hey! Tala's coming to live with us!" She called. The other children in the next room all stopped what they were doing and turned, and a few more appeared at the top of the stairs, looking inquisitive. Tala smiled round at them all, then turned to Mrs Korbachov. "So do I get a job, or not?"

"Hmm...you can have a trial period, and we'll have to run checks on you! But fine." Tala handed the baby back to her and went on to sit with the children, and tried to remember their names...

* * *

Russian:   
Spaseeba: Thank you  
Yabayus: I'm scared  
Ya teb: Part of 'Ya tebya lyublyu', which means 'I love you'.  
Lapushka: Little paw 

Chinese :  
Wo ai ni: I love you

Japanese:  
Aishiteru: I love you

Next Chapter: The last chapter, unfortunately. Tala has a favour to ask of Kai.

R&R please! I'd like your opinion on the un-insaneifying of Kai (I know un-insaneifying isn't a word, but if Shakespeare can make up words then I can too!).


	7. Chapter 7

Well, here we are at the end of another fic... Kai has been un-insaneified, Tala has a job, and all the rest! Thank you to everyone who reviewed, and special thanks to the people who've stuck with this and reviewed all the way through! The replies might be a bit iffy, but I was at a sleepover last night and I didn't get to sleep till three am, then got woken back up at six am by the friends who kept me up all night with their snoring. So much for a peaceful life, huh?

Little-Purple-Phoenix: Yeah, I liked making Tala good with children, seeing as it's not normally something you'd associate with him...

Thin-K: I'm glad you've enjoyed it. It makes me happy when people say things like that because it reassures me that people read my stuff and actually like it...

Kanilla: Head swellery of the most high order! And yeah, me and my friends are like that too...especially at two am while watching the third Harry Potter movie ("That didn't happen in the book!").

Endoh Chiaki: I hurried, and here it is.

kaei kon: I'm not angry, but I will be if I go back in a while and don't find my name in it somewhere... And yeah, I love Kai being all protective of Rei even when he's insane!

Just that good: I really liked writing the bits with Tala and the children in. I don't know why but they made me feel all nice inside...

animeobsession: Yeah, Shakey-boy did invent words, tons of them. I can't remember any off the top of my head, but he did...

KyokiXKurama: Un-insaneified? Yeah. I was going to leave him insane at one point, but then I thoughtthat was maybe a little -too- cruel, even for me...

Reis1gurl: Hum. It wasn't such a bad idea, actually, but I had this chapter written a while back. I just wasn't happy with a few details so I kept changing them until I was happy, that's what I do with most of my fics...

WolfDemonQueen: I know. I like putting in cute bits at the end of fics because it feels like they've deserved it, what with the whole being insane thing and all the other horrible things I do to the characters...

miriam906: Yep, I'm afraid this is the last chapter...but there'll be another one along soon, so don't worry!

SoulSister: I know, I hate Voltaire too. I mean even in the anime he's a bit weird...all those little boys running around getting sweaty...I think him and Boris are in cahoots, to be honest, but then again I'm hideously paranoid...

VGMaster04: Thank you, and here it is.

Ice Spirit: Rock on live8! I'm in virtual Edinburgh as well, and on the live8 list. I hope those politicians get the picture...

ArcticalWolf: You squee too! Me and my friends do that when something is almost painfully cute or mean. Keep on squeeing! It's a fun (albeit rather strange) habit!

PandaPjays: There shall be no bapping...I think Rei did enough of that for both of them! But yeah, Kai's getting out. I couldn't leave him in there, that would've been -too- mean...

Prozacfairy: The endings are almost always happy, and this one is no exception. Cuteness shall ensue! Although…perhaps one of these days I should write about a very UNhappy ending, to break the pattern?

Ellen: I appoint you as official Voltaire-beater. He needs one, what with all those dastardly crimes he commits... God, I sound like a crime video...I suppose that's what I get for watching the pink panther movie at midnight...

MikeyWaysgirl: Aww, Tyson's not that bad! He's just incredibly stupid...and eats too much...but I take your point. He should just have his talking privileges revoked, then he'd be much better!

Echo in the Dark: Nah, he isn't quite out yet, but he will be soon!

skimmie: Here it is!

Celestial-Dragon-Demon: This one's over, but there'll be more! I was quite sad when I got to the end of this, but happy at the same time. It's the longest fic I've written so far, so I'm kinda proud of it...

CreativeChilde: Hee, I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for being so nice about my writing!

studio: No...I just write the stuff and post it...half the time my fingers end up running away with me. And thank you for being so nice about my stuff- it's nice to know people don't think it's absolute tripe!

Mei Kimari: Are yours going funny too? I swear, they just AREN'T reporting updates…I've checked my spam filter and everything off the help thing…I'll just have to go back to checking my review history, like I had to before I had my own email account...

And now 'dun dun dun' the LAST chapter!

* * *

"Kai?" Kai looked up at Rei and smiled.

"Dobre den, Rei."

Rei stuck his tongue out and pulled Kai up off his beanbag. "Save the Russian lessons until after we get home." Kai smirked and pulled Rei closer, kissing him softly.

"It's strange to think I'll be going home. I've been here for...well...ages."

"Come on, come on, stop reminiscing and let's get going! Everyone's dying to see you again!"

"But I wanted to go and thank Angelina before I leave..."

"She's not in today, she's on call. Come -on- Kai!" Kai allowed Rei to drag him outside, then paused, looking back inside his old room and smiling before closing the door.

"I hope you don't mind, but I left Lapushka in there. I hope...that the next person in there can get as much comfort out of it as I did."

Rei made nor reply, only took hold of Kai's hand, pulling him towards the door. As they stepped outside, it started to rain. Kai smiled softly and let a few drops gather on the back of his free hand before wiping them away on his shirt. "You know, I'm glad it's raining. I don't think I could have faced the sun after so long of not seeing it. Rain isn't as nice...but it's easier on the eyes..."

Rei shook his head, giggling with the euphoria of finally having Kai outside of the hospital, and dragged him towards the waiting taxi. "Rei...Rei, just calm down. It's not that big of a deal..."

"Yes it is!" Rei protested, snuggling up to Kai and hugging him tightly, almost possessively. "Yes it is because…because I say so!"

Kai laid an arm around Rei's shoulders, sighing. "Rei...thank you. For everything you've done for me. I love you."

"Ya tebya lyublyu, Kai." Kai looked down at Rei, quizzical, and Rei winked. "I made Tala teach me how to say it properly."

He nuzzled his face into Kai's chest, purring softly. "I'm so happy, Kai..." He looked up, reaching up a hand to cup Kai's cheek. "I'm so glad I have you back..." He leaned forwards, kissing Kai tenderly. Kai moaned and deepened the kiss, before pulling away to nibble at Rei's lower lip. The taxi slowed suddenly and Rei jumped, excited again. "Kai, we're here!" He chivvied Kai out, pushing him towards the front door of the house. As they went inside, Rei hushed Kai, putting a finger to his lips and sneaking towards the kitchen, pulling Kai with him, opening the door in one swift movement and walking inside.

The Bladebreakers and the Demolition Boys were sitting around the kitchen, at the table and leaning against worktops, all chattering happily, but as Kai and Rei came in they fell silent. Kai saw the deception immediately. "You didn't tell them I was coming, did you?" Rei shook his head. "You little minx..." Everyone else stood stupefied for a second, then Tala seemed to snap out of if and laughed.

"Kai!" The redhead hurried over and threw his arms around his friend, laughing with joy. "We missed you..." Spurred on by Tala's actions, the rest of the group ran to join in the hug as well. After a few minutes, they all calmed down enough to let Kai breathe, ushering him to sit down at the kitchen table, plying him with drinks and food. He politely declined Tyson's offer of cookies, with a small smile.

Sitting there, a cup of coffee in one hand, and Rei holding his other, he was happier than he'd ever been before. They all liked him. They all wanted him to be better, not worse. But then, he knew that already; after several long and arduous sessions with Angelina he'd managed to get rid of his irrational fears, and finally accept that the past was gone, and there was nothing more to be said about it.

"Kai..." Tala said tentatively, after a while.

"Mm?"

"I...well, I don't know if you know, but I'm working part-time at an orphanage now...and I was wondering...well, there's this one kid...and he's been through sort of the same kind of things as you. I was wondering...could you give me a hand? You don't have to see him if you don't want to, but..." He smiled apologetically. "Sorry to ask you about something like this just after you've gotten out..."

"When's the best time for me to see him?"

* * *

Kai walked into the orphanage behind Tala, glad that it was Tala and not him that received the crowd of chattering children crowding him. The ever-cheerful redhead waded through them, giving hugs and greetings as he went. It made Kai smile, seeing that Tala could cheer them up like that. "Come on, come on, go back to playing, Uncle Tala's got work to do!" He said brightly. The children obeyed, but only after he promised he'd play games with them later.

Kai allowed himself to be led up the stairs, to a small room at the end of the corridor. It was bright and clean, with pale blue walls and a fluffy carpet. There was nothing in it, apart from what seemed to be a little heap of clothes in one corner. Tala sighed. "Is it okay if I leave you alone with him?" Kai nodded, and Tala left. As he did, the bundle of clothes moved, turning into a little boy, about eight or nine years old, with messy blonde hair and a fearsome glare. Kai merely sat down a couple of metres away and looked at the wall.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he watched the child move closer, closer still, then turned as the small boy jabbed him in the arm. He whimpered and shrank away. "Don't hurt me..." The child looked puzzled. "Please don't do bad things to me..." Even more puzzled. Kai crawled backwards slightly, pretending to shake. "I'm scared..."

"...S-so am I..." The boy whispered, voice cracked and husky. "Who're you?"

"K-Kai...who're you?"

"V-Vladimir...w-why are you scared?"

Kai's eyes darted left and right before he replied. "My Grandfather...he...he hurt me...and I'm scared in case he comes back..." Vladimir blinked.

"Y-your grandfather?"

Kai nodded. "And they're angry with me because I...I hurt someone but they were trying to cuddle me and I didn't like it!" He looked concerned. "Why are you scared?"

"My Mama...she tried to...to kill me...and I...I'm scared..." Kai felt himself crying inside as he considered the best way to handle the situation.

"Is she still around? Is she near here?" He looked around fearfully. "Will she hurt me?" The child laid a comforting hand on his arm.

"She's in heaven."

"S-so she can't hurt us?" The child blinked, and opened his mouth, then closed it again.

"N...no..." He said eventually. Kai came closer, sitting with his legs crossed.

"Are you still scared?"

"No..." Kai smiled.

"Well if you're not scared, I'm not scared! Have you met Tala?"

"...He doesn't like me. I bit him..." Kai thought fast, and then smiled.

"I've been nastier to him, and he still likes me. Shall we go and see what everyone else is playing?" Vladimir nodded, and Kai gathered him up into his arms, carrying him downstairs. He deposited Vladimir among the other children, close to Tala, who quickly befriended him. Kai left, musing on everything that had happened. It was easier to repair the damage for children, but if you left them and left them it would always end up worse. It was better to solve the problems quickly than to let them mature...

His fingers fiddled with the mobile in his pocket. With Voltaire in prison for life, they'd handed over all the Hiwatari wealth to him... Surely he could live without a few of Voltaire's millions? There would still be plenty left, even after that... Decisively, he called his bank.

"Good afternoon this is Anna speaking, how may I help you?"

"This is Kai Hiwatari. I want you to send me an email detailing the names and bank accounts of any and all of the children's charities you can think of."

"...Certainly, sir, do you want it sent to your home email address?"

"Yes. Can you give me the contact details of the heads of all the organisations as well, please?"

"Right away, sir!"

Kai rang off, smiling.

* * *

"Kai?"

"Mm?" Kai looked up from his computer to find Rei standing beside him, looking worried.

"Kai, you've been on there for hours..."

"I know, but it's important. I'm transferring money."

"To who? From where?"

"To the..." He glanced at the screen. "Forty-seven children's charities the bank told me about. I'm on the last one now."

"You're giving them money?"

"Mm-hm. I'm sure half a million pounds wouldn't go amiss with any of them. I don't have people skills like Tala, but I'm going to help. You see, when I was talking to that child today, I realised that if you don't want a problem to become worse, then you have to solve it when it first happens. Children are amazing at recovering from things, but if you leave their problems to mature with them into adulthood, they just get worse, and harder and harder to solve.

"I'm almost glad that you and Tyson provoked me when you did, because it would have been even worse if it had happened later, I might never have recovered. Actually, I was looking into becoming the patron of one of these charities, or even starting my own...what do you think?"

Rei smiled and nodded. "I think you're better with people than you think, Kai, but...yes. I think it's a wonderful idea." He leaned in closer, whispering in Kai's ear. "Come and find me when you're done, I've got a present for you..." With a parting brush of his hand over Kai's crotch, he left the study. They were staying in Kai's new house- he'd sold the mansion. After all, it was really too big for just two people.

He finished his typing quickly, saved all the open documents, and sat back, sighing. After a minute or so of massaging his aching wrists and rubbing his overworked eyes, he stood up, walking into the bathroom to relieve himself. He flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and turned, to find Rei standing there with a mysterious smirk on his face. "Are you done working?" Kai nodded. "Good, I can give you your present, then..."

He started to unbutton Kai's shirt, but Kai grabbed his hands. "Rei, Tyson and Max are staying over...we can't...not now!"

"They're watching a movie downstairs, and they're eating so much popcorn and cheese they'll be too high to hear themselves talking, never mind what we're doing up here..." Kai looked doubtful, but Rei just smirked again. "Kai, I don't care if they do hear us. Kitty's in heat, and Kitty wants you to make love to him -right now-..."

Kai smiled for the first time. "Where's my present, then?" Rei smirked in a very uncharacteristic way and finished unbuttoning Kai's shirt.

"You've never been with a neko-jin in heat, have you?"

"No…" Kai said, almost doubtfully.

"Your present just got better then. Now come on." Kai let Rei drag him into their bedroom, smiling. He would have to be insane to pass up that opportunity...

Fin

* * *

Well, what do you guys think? I made Rei into a little bit of a pervert, and once again shamelessly abused his cat side as a plot point, but that's just fun to do... Kai's like scrooge...he started off being mean to Tyson and now he's helping all the little children. Bless him!

Next fic up will probably be one about Kai cheating on Rei… It was on my bio as in progress, but I got into a plothole and couldn't get myself out so I abandoned it, then decided I shouldn't be so lazy… Now (hopefully) it's plothole free, but it isn't all that long. Three or four chapters max, but hey.

Anyway, R&R please!


End file.
